Educational Opportunities

Although I have made the order “rewriting”, I think it’s more of an editing process, but I want to give my editor a free range.  This is my answer to one of the prompts of the UC transfer application. I have also put the question on the draft paper. And this is the question: 2.     Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced. I don’t intend to put any quotes or sources. The prompt has a 350-maximum word count and I have 345 words in, so I need help with putting in a sentence or two. I also need help with tying my answer to the question better at the end. And pointing out any wordiness will be appreciated. I also want a 100-word comment on how my answer makes you feel, and what could be better elaborated if you pretend like you are an admission officer, and then make a suggestion or edit on the draft.  To clarify, my answer to the prompt has to have 350 words maximum. The comment I request is 100 or less and will be on top of 350 word count, so the end product will be 450 word count maximum. I have put down a 100 words for the comment, and the more the merrier.

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